Effective Conflict Management: 5 Practical Styles

Written by Daisie Team

Published on 10 July 2023 6 min read

It seems like conflicts are just part of life, whether at work, in relationships, or even within ourselves. But managing these conflicts doesn't have to be a daunting task. With the right understanding and application of various conflict management styles, you can navigate through these rough patches with grace and effectiveness. In this blog, we're going to walk through five practical strategies to help you manage conflicts effectively.

1. Define the Conflict

Before we dive into the different conflict management styles, it's important first to understand what conflict we're dealing with. This means identifying the issue at hand, determining its impact, and knowing who the participants are.

Identify the Issue

The first step in managing a conflict is to recognize it. Now, this may seem simple, but it's more than just acknowledging that a problem exists. It's about understanding the root of the conflict, the underlying issues that are causing friction. This requires active listening and empathy. By identifying the issue, you're not just putting a label on the problem, but you're taking the first step towards resolution.

Determine the Impact

Next, assess the impact of the conflict. How is it affecting you, the other person or group, and the overall situation? Understanding the scale of the conflict can help you in choosing the best of the conflict management styles to use. It can range from minor disagreements that simply require clear communication to major disputes that might need mediation or even legal intervention.

Know the Participants

Last, but certainly not least, know the participants. This means understanding not just who is involved in the conflict, but their perspectives, their motivations, and their preferred conflict management styles. By understanding the participants, you can tailor your approach to meet their needs and work towards a resolution that respects everyone's interests.

Defining the conflict sets the stage for managing it effectively. With a clear understanding of the issue, its impact, and the participants, you're equipped to navigate the situation using the most suitable conflict management styles.

2. Analyze the Situation

Once you've defined the conflict, the next step is to take a closer look at the situation. This involves evaluating the context, understanding your role, and checking the emotions involved. The goal here is to gather as much information as possible to help you decide which of the conflict management styles would be the most effective.

Evaluate the Context

Start by looking at the bigger picture. What are the circumstances surrounding the conflict? Are there any external factors influencing the situation? For example, if you're dealing with a workplace conflict, consider factors such as company culture, team dynamics, and project deadlines. Understanding the context can help you see why the conflict escalated and how it can be deescalated.

Understand Your Role

Next, let's talk about you. What's your role in the conflict? Are you a participant, a mediator, or an observer? Each role comes with different responsibilities and requires a different approach in choosing conflict management styles. As a participant, for instance, you need to be open to feedback and willing to compromise. If you're a mediator, your role would be to facilitate communication and help find a resolution. Understanding your role is key to managing the conflict effectively.

Check the Emotions

Finally, don't forget about emotions. Conflicts can be emotional, and these emotions can cloud judgment and escalate the situation. Acknowledge these emotions — both yours and others' — but don't let them dictate your actions. Instead, use them to gain insights into what matters most to the people involved and to guide your decision on which conflict management styles to adopt.

By analyzing the situation, you not only gain a clearer understanding of the conflict, but you also prepare yourself to handle it effectively using the right conflict management styles.

3. Choose Your Approach

With a clear understanding of the conflict and its context, the next step is to select the best approach to manage it. This involves choosing from various conflict management styles, such as assertive, collaborative, or compromising. Your choice will depend on the specifics of the situation and the desired outcome.

Adopt an Assertive Style

The assertive style of conflict management emphasizes standing up for one's rights while respecting those of others. This is a useful approach when you need to address an issue directly without sidestepping or sugarcoating. For example, if you're a project manager and a team member consistently misses deadlines, an assertive approach can help address the issue head-on without creating unnecessary tension.

Use a Collaborative Style

Next up is the collaborative style. This style focuses on finding a win-win solution where both parties' needs and interests are met. It requires open communication, empathy, and creative problem-solving. Let's say you're a business owner in a small town in Texas, and you have a dispute with a local supplier. A collaborative style can lead to a resolution that benefits both your business and the supplier, fostering a stronger relationship in the long run.

Apply a Compromising Style

The compromising style is all about give and take. It's useful in situations where a quick or temporary solution is needed, or when both parties have equally important goals. For instance, if two marketing teams in a New York-based company are fighting over budget allocation, a compromising style might involve each team agreeing to cut some costs to share the budget more equitably.

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all in conflict management styles. The key is to choose the approach that best fits the situation and can lead to a positive, productive outcome.

4. Implement Your Plan

Once you've chosen your approach, it's time to put it into action. This is where your conflict management style truly comes to life. Let's go through the steps you'll need to take to effectively implement your plan.

Communicate Effectively

Clear and effective communication is the backbone of any conflict management strategy. Here's how to make sure your messages hit the mark:

Be clear: Make sure your points are easy to understand. This is not the time for jargon or complex language.
Be respectful: Even in conflict, it's important to respect the other person's perspective. This means listening as much as you speak.
Be honest: Honesty goes a long way in resolving conflicts. If there's a problem, address it openly.

Manage the Environment

The physical and emotional environment can greatly influence the outcome of a conflict. Try to ensure the setting is comfortable and free from distractions. If tempers are flaring, it might be a good idea to take a break and reconvene when everyone is calmer. It's much easier to find a resolution when everyone is in the right headspace.

Maintain Control

Finally, it's crucial to maintain control during conflict resolution. This doesn't mean dominating the conversation or imposing your will on others. It's about guiding the process in a calm and organized manner, even when emotions are running high. Remember, the goal is to solve the problem, not to win a battle.

Implementing your plan is a critical stage in conflict management. By communicating effectively, managing the environment, and maintaining control, you can make your chosen conflict management style work for you.

5. Evaluate and Learn

Now that you've implemented your plan, it's time to take a step back and evaluate the results. This phase is just as important as any other part of the conflict management process, because it's how you grow and improve. Let's look at some key steps in this process.

Assess the Outcome

First, take a good look at the outcome of the conflict. Did your chosen conflict management style bring about a resolution? Was it a positive outcome for everyone involved? You might find that your approach worked perfectly, or you might see room for improvement. Either way, assessing the outcome can give you valuable insights for future conflicts.

Reflect on the Process

Once you've assessed the outcome, reflect on the process you went through. Did you communicate effectively? Did you manage the environment well? Could you have maintained better control? Reflecting on the process will help you identify any areas where you can improve your conflict management style.

Plan for Future Conflicts

Finally, use your reflections to plan for future conflicts. No one likes to think about conflicts yet to come, but the reality is, they're a part of life. The more prepared you are, the better you'll be able to handle them. So, think about what worked and what didn't, and make a plan to apply these lessons to future conflicts.

In conclusion, evaluating and learning from your experiences is a key part of effective conflict management. By assessing the outcome, reflecting on the process, and planning for future conflicts, you can continuously improve your conflict management style and become more effective in resolving conflicts.

If you're looking to further develop your conflict management skills, especially in the digital world, check out the workshop 'How to Deal: Navigating Digital Boundaries' by Grace Miceli. This workshop will provide you with valuable insights and strategies to successfully navigate conflict in the digital realm and maintain healthy boundaries in your online interactions.