Personal Values Source: A Practical Guide

Written by Daisie Team

Published on 11 July 2023 6 min read

Everyone, at some point, asks the question, "where do values come from?" Whether you're pondering this over a cup of coffee or discussing it with a friend, understanding the origin of your personal values is a fascinating journey of introspection. In this practical guide, we'll explore where these guiding principles stem from and how to identify, prioritize, and live in alignment with them.

Defining Personal Values

Before we can fully grasp where our values come from, we first need to understand what they are. Personal values are the core principles that guide our behavior, decisions, and interactions with others. They serve as a compass, helping us navigate life's complexities.

Why are Values Important?

Values shape our lives in countless ways. Here's why:

Guide for Decision-Making: When faced with a tough choice, our values can serve as a reference point. They help us determine what actions align with who we are and want to be.
Form Relationships: Sharing similar values fosters deeper connections with others. These shared principles can form the basis of long-lasting friendships and partnerships.
Influence Behavior: Our behaviors often reflect our values. For example, if you value honesty, you're more likely to tell the truth, even when it's difficult.

Values vs Beliefs

While values and beliefs are closely linked, they're not the same. Beliefs are convictions we hold to be true, often without proof. They might be about the world, people, or ourselves. Values, on the other hand, are about what we deem important in life. For instance, you might believe that hard work leads to success (belief), and thus, place a high value on diligence (value).

The Role of Culture

Wondering where do values come from? Culture plays a big part. The culture in which you're raised significantly influences your values. For example, if you grew up in a community where family is considered paramount, you're likely to value family deeply. Similarly, if you were raised in a culture that values individual success, independence might be high on your list of personal values.

Identifying Your Values

Now that we've established what values are and why they matter, the next step is to identify your own. This process requires self-reflection and honesty. Here are some strategies to help you uncover your core values:

Reflections on Past Experiences

Our past experiences, both good and bad, contribute significantly to our values. Reflect on moments in your life that brought you joy, satisfaction, or a sense of accomplishment. What values were you living in those moments? Similarly, consider times of regret or discomfort. Which of your values were being stepped on?

Considering Your Heroes

Another way to identify your values is to think about the people you admire. These could be personal role models, public figures, or even fictional characters. Ask yourself, what values do they embody that you respect? You might find these values reflect your own.

Values Clarification Exercises

Values clarification exercises can be incredibly helpful. These exercises might involve listing values that resonate with you, then narrowing down the list until you're left with the few that are most important. For example, you might start with a list of fifty potential values—like honesty, kindness, or ambition—and whittle it down to your top five. Remember, there's no right or wrong here—it's all about what matters to you.

Prioritizing Your Values

Once you've identified your values, the next step is to prioritize them. This process helps you to understand which values are most important to you and which ones guide your decisions and actions the most. Here's how you can do it:

Sorting Exercise

One effective way is to perform a sorting exercise. Write each of your values on a separate piece of paper. Spread them out in front of you. Then, arrange them in order of importance to you. This visual exercise can help you see where your values rank in relation to each other.

Value Pair Comparisons

Another method is to do value pair comparisons. This involves comparing two values at a time and asking yourself, "If I could only fulfill one of these, which would it be?" This method can help you to see which values hold the most weight when it comes to decision-making.

Hierarchy of Values

Finally, building a hierarchy of values can be a helpful way of prioritizing. Start at the top with your most important value, then work your way down. This can help you to create a visual representation of where your values stand. Remember, this isn't set in stone—you can always reevaluate and adjust as you grow and change.

Aligning Values and Actions

Understanding where our values come from is vital, but it's only the first part of the journey. The next big step is to align our actions with those values. This alignment is what allows us to live authentically and make decisions that are true to who we are. So, how do we do this?

Values-Based Decision Making

First, let's talk about values-based decision making. Imagine you're deciding between two job offers. One is a high-paying position at a company that doesn't prioritize environmental responsibility. The other is a lower-paying job at a company that puts a strong emphasis on sustainability. If one of your top values is environmental consciousness, the choice becomes clearer, right? By basing your decisions on your values, you ensure that your actions align with what's truly important to you.

Setting Goals Aligned with Values

Next up is setting goals that align with your values. Let's say one of your values is continuous learning. You might set a goal to read a new book every month, or take a new online course every quarter. When your goals are in line with your values, you're more likely to feel fulfilled and successful when you achieve them.

Maintaining Consistency

Maintaining consistency between your values and your actions can be a challenge, especially when life gets busy or stressful. But it's crucial for living a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. This might mean regularly checking in with yourself to make sure your actions are still in line with your values, or it could mean standing up for what you believe in, even when it's hard. Remember, consistency is key when it comes to living out your values.

Living Your Values

Once we've grasped where our values come from and aligned our actions with them, the final step is to live those values out in our daily lives. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. Our values aren't just abstract concepts to ponder over; they're meant to guide us in our everyday actions and decisions. Let's explore some practical ways to make this happen.

Daily Practices

Living our values begins with our everyday practices. These are the small, seemingly insignificant choices we make each day that add up to create the bigger picture of our lives. If health is one of your values, a daily practice might be choosing to take the stairs instead of the elevator, or preparing a home-cooked meal instead of ordering takeout. Remember, the little things matter.

Overcoming Challenges

Life is not without its challenges, and living our values can sometimes mean facing difficult situations head on. Let's say you value honesty, and you discover a mistake on your tax return that's in your favor. The challenge here is to uphold your value of honesty, even when the easier path might be to ignore the mistake. Overcoming these challenges is a testament to the strength of your values.

Celebrating Successes

Finding joy in the journey is an important part of living our values. This means taking the time to celebrate our successes, big and small, along the way. Did you stand up for a value you believe in? Did you make a decision that was in line with your values, even when it was tough? Give yourself a pat on the back. You're living your values, and that's something to celebrate.

If you're seeking to further explore the concept of personal values, we highly recommend checking out the workshop titled 'A Way of Life Beyond Good & Evil' by Rabih Salloum. This workshop will help you delve deeper into understanding your own values and assist you in living a life that is true to yourself.