Understanding & Resolving Conflicts: Personal & Professional Life

Written by Daisie Team

Published on 10 July 2023 6 min read

With many types of conflict likely to arise in both personal and professional life, understanding how they manifest and how to resolve them is a vital skill. This blog post offers a roadmap to identifying your conflict style, communicating effectively, managing emotions, resolving the conflict, and maintaining the relationship. Let's start the journey.

1. Know Your Conflict Style

Just like a fingerprint, everyone has a unique style when it comes to dealing with conflict. Recognizing your style can be the first step in understanding and resolving different types of conflict.

Identify Your Personal Conflict Style

You may be the type who likes to confront issues head-on, or maybe you prefer to avoid conflict altogether. Identifying your personal conflict style can be as simple as observing how you usually react when a problem arises. Are you more of a peacekeeper, a compromiser, or a competitor? By understanding this, you can better navigate the waters of conflict in your personal and professional life.

Understanding Others' Conflict Styles

Just as you have a unique approach to conflict, so does everyone else around you. Recognizing the conflict styles of others can help you interact more effectively with them. Tom, a fellow office worker, might be more aggressive, while your neighbor Sue might be more of an avoider. Understanding their styles can help you tailor your approach when conflicts arise, fostering smoother interactions.

Adjusting Your Style

Knowing your conflict style and understanding others' styles only gets you halfway. The true art lies in adjusting your style to match the situation. If you tend to avoid conflict but find that this approach isn't working with an aggressive colleague, it might be time to adapt and adopt a more assertive style. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to conflict resolution—flexibility is key.

2. Communicate Effectively

Once you're aware of the different conflict styles, it's time to focus on communication. Effective communication is like a bridge — it can help you cross the river of any type of conflict relatively unscathed.

Active Listening

One of the most effective ways to navigate through any conflict is to genuinely listen. Active listening involves not only hearing what the other person says but also understanding their point of view. It might sound simple, but it can be a game-changer. Think of it this way: when you're in a debate with your friend Alex over which pizza place is the best in Chicago, listening to his reasons might give you a new perspective.

Constructive Feedback

Feedback is a two-way street. While it's important to listen, it's equally important to constructively express your thoughts. Suppose you're working on a project with a group at your office in New York. If you feel the project is moving in the wrong direction, don't just criticize. Provide constructive feedback—suggest what could be changed and how. This way, you're not just pointing out problems; you're offering solutions.

Clear Expression

Have you ever played a game of 'Telephone'? It starts with a message, but as it's passed along, it often ends up distorted. Clear expression is crucial in avoiding such misunderstandings in real-life conflicts. Be as clear as possible when expressing your thoughts or feelings. If you're upset about your roommate leaving dishes in the sink, instead of giving them the silent treatment, express your frustration and suggest a cleaning roster. It could save you from a potential conflict.

3. Manage Emotions

Now that you've mastered effective communication, let's delve into the emotional side of conflicts. Emotions are like spices in a recipe—they can make or break the outcome. The trick to managing conflicts is to keep your emotions in check.

Self-Regulation

Self-Regulation is about keeping your emotions under control and not letting them control you. Let's say you're in the middle of a heated argument with a colleague at work. It's easy to let your anger burst out, but doing so might cause more harm than good. Instead, take a deep breath, count to ten, and address the issue calmly. You'll be surprised how effective this simple trick can be.

Empathy for Others

Empathy is about putting yourself in another person's shoes. It's understanding the feelings and emotions of others. For instance, let's say your friend Sarah is upset because she lost her job. Instead of offering advice or solutions, just be there for her, listen, and show empathy. It's not about solving the problem but understanding and acknowledging her feelings.

Stay Calm Under Pressure

Staying calm under pressure is a skill that can take you a long way in resolving conflicts. Remember the old saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going?" It's particularly relevant here. If you find yourself in a high-pressure situation, like a disagreement with your boss, remember to keep your cool. It's not about winning the argument but finding a resolution that works for everyone.

4. Resolve The Conflict

Once you've mastered managing your emotions, it's time to move towards the finish line: resolving the conflict. This stage involves finding common ground, developing solutions together, and agreeing on action steps. It's the final piece of the puzzle in managing different types of conflict.

Finding Common Ground

Imagine you're trying to plan a family vacation. You want to go to Disney World in Florida, but your spouse wants a quiet beach holiday. Instead of insisting on your own choice, try to find a compromise. How about a beach resort near Orlando, so you can enjoy both the beach and a day at Disney? That's finding common ground: a win-win solution that satisfies everyone.

Developing Solutions Together

Developing solutions together is like building a Lego tower. It's not just about stacking up the blocks; you also need to make sure they fit together well. Let's say you and your colleague have different ideas for a project at work. Instead of pushing your own idea, try to merge the best parts of both ideas. The end result could be a more innovative and successful project.

Agreeing on Action Steps

Once you've developed a solution, the next step is to agree on action steps. It's like following a recipe: you have all the ingredients, now you need to put them together in the right order. So, if you and your team have decided to implement a new marketing strategy, you need to assign tasks, set deadlines, and agree on how to measure success. This ensures everyone knows what they're supposed to do and keeps the team on track.

5. Maintain The Relationship

Resolving a conflict is like fixing a broken vase — the goal isn't just to put it back together, but also to make it strong enough to withstand future bumps. In the same way, after resolving any type of conflict, you should aim to strengthen the relationship and prevent future conflicts. This includes building trust, fostering open communication, and promoting collaboration.

Building Trust Post-Conflict

Trust is like the glue that holds a relationship together. After a conflict, it's normal for trust to take a hit. To restore it, you need to follow through on your promises. If you said you'd complete a task by a certain date, do it. Actions speak louder than words. Over time, your consistent behavior will rebuild trust.

Fostering Open Communication

Imagine trying to drive in a city without traffic signs or signals. It would be chaos, right? In the same way, open communication is the traffic signal that keeps relationships running smoothly. It involves being honest, expressing your feelings clearly, and listening to the other person's perspective. This doesn't mean you'll agree on everything, but at least you'll understand each other better.

Promoting Collaboration

Collaboration is like playing in a band. Each member has their own instrument to play, but they all need to work together to create harmony. Similarly, in relationships, everyone has their own roles and responsibilities. Promoting collaboration means working together as a team, respecting each other's roles, and supporting each other to achieve common goals. This not only prevents future conflicts but also makes the relationship more rewarding.

If you're looking to improve your conflict resolution skills in both your personal and professional life, don't miss the workshop 'How To Conquer Your Creative Demons!' by Lauren Paige. This workshop will equip you with the knowledge and techniques needed to overcome conflicts and strengthen your relationships, ultimately helping you conquer your creative demons.